Tanzania: Liminal Space

Liminal Space. Well right now I feel I am in between places i’m not here nor there. I’m not sure where I am. I feel I am not sure who I am. It is definitely an empty feeling. Most transitions are not easy. I’m really not sure what to expect to happen to me this year. Novitiate is a time to go deep into ones self to see God in themselves and where does that lead one. I feel my motto for the year is going to be one day at a time. I hope I can go deeper each day into my inner being and see what inside me is really saying. This is and has already been tough for me.

I helped out again at the Polish pilgrimage. Once again I think I gained 5 pounds over 2 days. They feed you all the time. The say, “Don’t be shy eat some more”. After I already had 4 plates of food. Then when you leave they say take food with you. You might get hungry on the way home I’m thinking I am stuffed and it is only a 2 hour drive. I’m pretty sure I won’t starve. But food is love for the Polish culture. It blew me away last year at how many people participate. Old people walking 18 miles. It is incredible. It is nostalgic. It is there history, religion, culture, it is apart of who they are as polish to do this pilgrimage. It is very important to the people. I feel proud to have polish routes and be apart of it.

I also went to Irish fest again this year. Learned a little bit of Gaelic. Drank some Irish beer and did some Celtic dancing. Great music.

I have been riding my bike a lot and have been swimming in Lake Michigan. Not sure how healthy the water is but I heard the e-coli level is down right now. So why not swim while it is still warm. I have a lot of time for reading this year. I am already taking advantage of the time. Some one said to me the other day. “Wow it must be nice to have a whole year to really spend time and go deep to learn who you are”. That is a true it is a gift and yet having this much time to think can be scary. I definitely feel I have time to think about anything and everything and to be honest it is scary. I’m used to being very active and doing things. It is hard. Some days I do feel I am wasting my talents and skills. That I should be doing something with my life and not sit here contemplating. Am I on the threshold of transformation?