Where is God

I went down to Evanston for 4 continuing education classes. It was great seeing some of my old coworkers, students, teachers. However a part of me felt I was missing out on something. It brought back a lot of good memories. Yet at the same time I knew I didn't belong there. I felt kinda torn. One of the speakers talked about a case study. a 23 year old male who was miss diagnosed. He has a rare leukemia and there is nothing they can do. He probably only has about 6 months left. I am sitting there thinking where is the justice. WHere are you God? I know bad things happen all the time but for some reason I was struggling with this one. I know babies die and people are starving to death. I know the world is not fair. How could I tell this person that God loves them. I am sure they would respond, "How can you tell me that God loves me? Why would God do this to me?" I don't think GOd is punishing him or anyone. It is just a part of life. I would ask why not me. How come I am not the one with Leukemia. Would I have the peace inside me that my life was going to end in 6 months or sooner. 

I am reading this book called He Leadeth me. It is by Walter Ciszek a Jesuit priest form America who went o do missionary work in Poland. Well WW2 started and he got sent to Russia and was in a 6ft x 10ft cell with no windows a poop bucket and is let out only for interrogation. They interrogated him for a whole year and he had one day of weakness and signed something that said he was a spy from the Vatican even though it was not true. His punishment was 15 years of Manual labor in Siberia. He would shovel for 15 hours a day. How does one not give up on life? Why would one want to deal with the pain and suffering everyday. He said, that he decided to completely surrender to God. If they wanted to kill him then so be it. He was at peace once he put his entire trust in God. In fact he thought it was God's mission for him to work hard everyday in the camps. He believed what he was doing in the camp was to help humanity and that what is what God wanted. He was at peace. Others accused him as helping the communists but he said no I am here to help God. How does one have such deep faith and totally give up one's life to God. I don't know how to do it. I say that I am giving up control but am I really? I guess that is why they call it faith.

 This is the Scalabrini sisters from Chicago and Gladson who is an Augustinian novice. We had a retreat in Racine on Family systems. It was mostly about your interaction with the different members in your family and the role every one in the family plays. The birthing order can play a big role in all families. I am the second born and the baby of the family so most of the time I feel responsible for the stability in the family structure. They can feel the pain or tension related to the intensity of an unresolved conflict in the family. They can also collect other's feelings and tensions as if they were there own. And the list goes on and on. However not every one fits every exact mold. But there are many other aspects that get affected like culture and environment.

 Dave, Patric and I went to see the Brewers get there butts kicked by the cubs

 I met this guy named Rob from Fairmont Minnesota and he is a big vikings fan as well He is also into mountain biking. THis view is from the top of the roof of the apartment complex he lives in.

This is Clare who is Dave's daughter. She wanted my helga horns so I gave them to her for the day. Her dad is a huge Packers fan. Infact t was a Packer's party and I was the stand out Viking sheep. Luckily both teams lost.