Tanzania: Being Sick

I think I have the flu. I have been laying low the last 2 days. A week ago we had our Intercommunity Novitiate Party which was fun. It was a party with Sisters of Calabrini, Holy Cross Sisters, Sisters of Casmir, Mary Knoll Sisters, Augustinians, Sacred Heart Fathers, Mary Knoll Fathers and Brothers and Sisters of St. Joseph. We had a potluck with food and dance. It was neat seeing the different ethnicities doing there singing and dancing. I got up and danced with the Africans.
There is a reading from Ronald Rolhieser that is really sticking to me the past few weeks. "Faith isn't where your head is or where your heart is. Faith is where your ass is at". That seems to make sense to me. Some days I wake up and think where are you God. I don't feel your presences at all. Do you even exist. Then there are days where I wake up and know the presence of God in me and in my life. So do I have faith some days and not other days. I guess it is trusting in where my ass is at. That is where I am suppose to be right now. I am learning to sit and just deal with whatever comes my way. If it is something bad to try and hold it and embrace it.
I know my brother has called me Peter Pan because I am always on the fly and never seem to grow up. I think there is a lot of truth in that. I hope I am learning how to be grounded and just sit with things. But it is very tempting to go on to the next adventure and just keep going from adventure to adventure. But does doing that mean I have a superficial life. A life that is not real with any substance ? Peter Pan was the life of the party always having fun always making people feel good. Does he really connect to people in a deep meaningful way. Is there real connectivity? Is Peter Pan just avoiding pain that he doesn't want to deal with? I don't know maybe I am thinking to much.
I am really looking forward to my short Christmas break and to get out of my head for a bit. Merry Christmas everyone.
The novices attended a videotaping mass here in Milwaukee that will be shown February 2nd at 9am on the Ion channel and I believe 5:30am on February 2nd on Fox. Supposedly. And it is nation wide. I am sitting in the front row so I am sure I will be visible with my mouse nest of a beard.