Cedar Lake Indiana

The World cup has been very exciting to me. Lot's of great games. I had the treat of meeting Noah's dad at a place called beer to watch the USA vs Belgium game. Great game but we did not favor in the results. I got to spend 4th of July with Mrs. C and Ned down in Chicago. We actually went to a wedding which was fun. It took place in a Mexican restaurant that the father of the groom owned. The highlight for me was no one was dancing on the dance floor except this probably 13 year old boy who is mentally retarded. So I decided to get out there and join him. He had a blast. We would just copy what ever I would do. I would pump my right arm in the air and then he would do it. The next thing I know there is a woman who is probably about 40yrs old and mentally retarded dancing with us and she was having a ball.  Sure enough then other people started joining in. Then the best was seeing the fireworks from Mrs. C's balcony. We saw the ones from Navy Pier and about 7 different sets front he western suburbs. It was really cool

I then headed down to Cedar lake Indiana for my six day retreat focusing on the vows of celibate chastity, poverty and obedience. I state at Lourdes Friary in a hermitage wight he Franciscan. The hermitage was about 10ft by 20ft in the woods with a view of a pond. I had many encounters with animals, deer, raccoon, to every single colored bird you can imaging from orioles, cardinals, blue jays and more. I went to mass and prayer int he morning with the Franciscans then I would usually spend most of the day by myself. I spent probably half of it in silence and the other half reading my old journals from the past couple years. Then I would try and reflect in where is God in all of this.
What I have learned from me my old journals thus far is that I do love living in community. I really feed off of others ideas and it is great being around people who seem spiritually sound and want to make a difference in the world.  It seems like the best community I ever lived in was the CAC which is surprising because I lived with six women then. Praying and eating together was a blessing. Some of the best times and conversation I have ever had. I have said numerous times in my journal I like being in community. I also enjoyed working Nuc med and making a difference in peoples lives. I loved the patient interaction. It was a goal for me to try and get to know them and turn there day around if they are having a bad one. I loved being in Tanzania. I had a blast there. The people are incredible there. Time didn't exist. I felt I was present in every moment. There seem to be a sense of peace in me. I loved leading Boyscouts at the boundary waters canoe area. That was the time of my life. I had great joy being in the wilderness an on an adventure with the excited boys that really looked up to me. I love working with the youth. I love working retreats and attending retreats. I have felt God's presence in many retreats I have been on and come back fresh and renewed.
Wow 2013 was a miserable year. Probably the most miserable year of my entire life. So much bull shit and drama. So many unnecessary things. Even though it was the most challenging year of my life I have probably learned the most from that year about myself and others. I'm glad it happened even though I wouldn't want it to ever happen again. I also struggled with God a lot in that year. 
The Franciscans have a real deep faith and trust in God. I'm so impressed. I really learned a lot from these old men when I talked with him. Fr. Sergis is 96 years old moving good and entirely with it. Infact he is heading to South Africa for 3 months. He was an exorcist there for 15 years. He said I know the devil. The devil is real and I have seen him. Interesting man. Then Father bert was my spiritual director for the week. An old peaceful Polish man. He taught me the power of prayer and what it can actually do. He said, You have so much fire in you to help the world and make it a better place. That is great but that is not only your job. That is mainly God's job. He really helped me get in touch with listening to God and surrendering to God's will what ever it may be. He said, If you keep praying to God "Show me your will Lord. He will answer when the time is right and it will be crystal clear. I promise you that. But you have to have deep faith and believe with all your heart".

I do feel I am in the right place at the right time. I am very peaceful right now. There is no rush to life. I am going to take one day at a time. First vows are a 13 month commitment. I see how the vows allows one to love more and be there for people. They are a gifts given from God if there taken seriously and responsibly. I am going to take first vows on August 10th see how the rest of the year goes and probably re-evaluate my life at the end of december. I have confidence I will know when the time is right. I notice a lot of the great spiritual writers always talk about surrendering to God. Once they surrender and listen to God's will they are at peace and have an internal knowing. Paul Wigley said, I was made to be a music teacher and I feel so blessed to have been able to do that. I will know some day why I am on this planet.

 Dressed up for the USA vs Belgium game.

 Fr. Sergis, Myself, Fr. Bert, and Fr. Tony

Big pond with a statue of Mother Mary in the middle.