Wednesday, March 26, 2014

LA Religious Congress




Well our first day we went to universal studios. It was quit enjoyable. I really enjoyed the studio ride and the part where we entered the King Kong 3D experience. Fr. Reed screamed bloody murder when the T-Rex came and I thought it was one of the funniest things I have ever witnessed in my entire life.  You could see the fear in his eyes. I thought he was going to have a heart attack. I also really enjoyed the transformers ride. It was an enjoyable time. 
LA religious conference was a good experience. Over 40,000 Catholics in one convention center. That is kinda scary. I heard Ronald Rolhieser and he spoke about fear. He said how it can help us to do God's mission or hinder us from doing God's mission. I think the bottom line of the talk was Do not be afraid . We hear it all the time in the people. He said if you truly believe you should have no fear.  Infact it is almost silly to have fear. But we fear everything. We fear about being poor, fear of losing our job, fear of being lonely. I guess it is a lot about perspective. I think you need to be in a comfortable space and comfortable with who you are and where you are at and expect anything. 
It is like the chinese story of the man who received all this wood and built a fence and the neighbors said wow that is good. He said, "Who knows". Then a storm came and destroyed his fence and his horses ran away. Then the neighbor said, "Wow that is real bad news". Then the mans horses came back with more horses and cows. Then the neighbor said, "Wow what good luck". Then the man said, "who knows". Then his son was riding one of the horses and falls and breaks his leg. The neighbor says "Wow that is bad luck". Then the man said, "who knows". Well then his son didn't get drafted into the army because he has a broken leg. So this can go on and on. But I think you get the point.
I also saw Greg Boyle who wrote Tattoos of the heart. He is a very good speaker. He is a jesuit who works with the Gangs of LA. He started homeboys industries. Jobs not jails. He did a fantastic job of speaking. So captivating. Very inspirational. He does amazing work. He has started a clothing line, salsa, restaurants, education services, employment services, tattoo removal and more. He has gotten in the middle of gang fights. Incredible stories. I highly recommend reading Tattoos of the Heart. 
Then I met Patrick Atkinson who has started ITEMP. He has an incredible story, He also started a nonprofit organization to raise awareness and to fight anti-trafficking of humans. He works in Guatemala, USA, India, Malawi, and El Salvador. He started and orphanage in Guatemala. I really enjoyed my conversation with him. He said to me "I would love if you would come work for me in Guatemala at the orphanage. It is very tempting because that sounds like something right up my alley.  It is always something got think about.
The novices had to take turns running the vocations booth. SO basically we were to try and recruit interested people into the Salvatorians. I am normally very extroverted and feed off people. That is where i get my energy from. I also noticed I had should pain the whole time in LA. It would not go away. I think it might have been because we were told to were the habit while working the booth. I felt uncomfortable. Poeple look at you differently. I didn't like it. I had numerous people say, "Hello Father" and I had one lady kiss my hand. Maybe it is because I don't feel I deserve to wear it because I have not taken first vows. Maybe because it is a reality of my future and I am nervous about it. Maybe it is because I have to make a decision in the next few months on whether to enter or leave the Salvatorians and I don't feel ready to make a decision. All my other novices are 100% ready to take there journey to priesthood and I am sitting on the fence. I do think i am carrying a lot of stress on myself with making a decision. Maybe it is a red flag because I am not sure. I think the best thing I can do is try to be present to right now but pray about the future and try to picture where I will be.

Wednesday, March 19, 2014

Winter pictures

So I heard the Pope just say that priests can now get married. There is only two requirements. 1. you must be retired from your ministry. 2. You must be 80 years old or older.
 This is the cemetery in our backyard. I occasionally go for walks back there.
 I went cross country skiing one afternoon at a golf course
 This is Marcel taking a swing at the piƱata fro Fr. Reed's birthday
 During our ICN sexuality retreat I set up a bonfire on the beach. People were amazed you can have a bonfire during the winter on a beach
We celebrated Fat Tuesday at our ICN retreat. King cake baby

I went with Patric to the Milwaukee Comic Con. We were the only ones dressed up but everyone appreciated it and took pictures of us. He went as batman and I went as Thor.
By the way Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are now worth money. I had quit a few of those growing up.

Sexuality Retreat

Before we went to LA we had a 4 day retreat on Sexuality. I thought the speaker did a really good job. Religious life is not a normal life. I think the thing I realized most is I need affection in my life. Then I have to ask How am I going to get that affection? I need deep intimate conversation. I need touch. I know i am a touchy feely guy. I need to find healthy ways. Is hugs enough? Is someone holding my hand enough? Is getting a massage enough? Is playing contact sports helpful? I have to spend time and answer questions like these. I thing I found interesting is there are 12 different ways for intimacy. I am sharing them below. 

12 Opportunities for Intimacy

1.     Genital intimacy (erotic or orgasmic closeness)
2.     Emotional intimacy (being tuned to each other’s wave length) *
3.     Intellectual intimacy (closeness in the world of ideas)
4.     Aesthetic intimacy (sharing experiences of beauty)
5.     Creative intimacy (sharing in acts of creating together)
6.     Recreational intimacy (relating in experiences of fun and play)
7.     Work intimacy (the closeness of sharing common task)
8.     Crisis intimacy (the closeness in coping with problems/pain)
9.     Conflict intimacy (facing and struggling with differences)
1. Commitment intimacy  (mutuality derived from common investment)
1. Spiritual intimacy (the we-ness in sharing ultimate concerns)

1.  Communication intimacy (the source of all types of true intimacy)

The bottom line is what is going to make me the most loving and most free I can be?  What are my deepest desires?

Saturday, March 1, 2014

Burn Victim

I received a phone call at 4:30am. Some one's brother of a friend of mine was in an explosion with third degree burns over 90% of his body. The mother was crying and was hoping for a miracle out of me. I showed up the next day and we prayed and I hugged them. I felt helpless. I brought Fr. Reed. There was nothing I could do. The mother was so angry with God. She has already lost another child in a car accident at the age of 19 years old. It is ok to be mad at God. We went in to see the patient. He was covered up and swollen. i prayed as best I could.
Two days later we went back and the whole family was there. I felt so honored and blessed just to be with the family and listen. That was all I can do. We did an anointing of the sick with the family surrounding the patient in bed. I felt the presence of God in the room. It was amazing the amount of the love that was being poured out in the room. It was incredible. I felt bad for the family.
We are not in control. No matter how much I think I am in control of my life, we are not in control.
The doctor had no hope. They kept him on a vent and on pain med's and that is it. Praying and hoping for a miracle. They did a novena for nine days at 3pm everyday.
They got a hold of me and they said we are puling the mask off. SO I raced down tot he hospital. We prayed a novena and waited for respiratory therapy.
We left the room, they pulled off the mask. He instantly turned white. He had slow deep breaths. There was a lot of crying in the room. It was hard to watch. Then he took his final deep breath and then you knew he was gone. You knew he left this world. We held hands around him and I prayed. All I remember about praying was what a gift we was to the world and to everyone around him. I remember thanking God for all the lives he had touch and to trust in God to lead him where ever he is going on the next part of his journey. I am sure I said more but that is all I remember. I felt the doctors hand on my should and he looked at me very sincere and said "You did a great job. Thank you". This was an experience I will never forget. I felt sorry for the family but yet happy because I truly believe he is in a better place. No more suffering. I felt blessed and honored to have been there. God was at work.

Monday, February 10, 2014

2nd Half of Heritage Trip

We traveled to Oceanside where the Salvatorian Sisters runs safe house for Trafficked women. Some have been labor slaves and some have been sex slaves. It is incredible and heart wrenching to hear these stories. I never knew how prevalent it is here in the USA. Men will often seduce these young women by telling them they will get them a good job so they can help there family. Then they lure them in and hold them hostage and tell them if they leave they will kill there family. It is really sad the mind games they play on these women. Some are from foreign countries and don't even know the language. Some are from normal homes in the US and they decide to runaway from home and get caught by the wrong guys. It is sick and awful. These women have lived nightmares. The sisters have safe place for them. They work a lot with the psychological damage and emotional damage. They teach english and try to reincorporate them back into society. They are doing wonderful work down there.
We traveled to St. Mary's College where Fr. Sal is the campus minister there. It is run by the Lasallian Brothers and it really reminds me of St. Mary's in Winona. You can tell Sal loves working with College students. We then had a free day in San Francisco where Patric and I headed to Alcatraz. Very cool. I need to see escape from Alcatraz now. We then headed up to Napa where we met with the Drake's who hosted us. We saw Fr. AL and Fr. Bob who are the Chaplans at the hospital there. Then we headed to Orangevale where the Divine Savior parish is. Huge parish and we had a panel discussion for the parishioners after the last mass. From there we headed back across the US with our first stop in Lake Tahoe. Beautiful area. I would love to go back there and go skiing. We also stopped in SLC where I stayed with Noah and we skied up a mountain than back down early in the morning. It was beautiful. Then from there to Cheyenne in which we stayed wight he Lackey's then to Omaha and back. It was a great trip to learn about he different Salvatorian ministries. There is some amazing work being done.
It has been a few weeks and back into routine. The saddest news was one of my friends from college who I played soccer with died. His name is Jake Endemman. He was a great guy and down to earth. He had a laugh that could light up the room. He was simple and easy to be around and gave every ounce of energy on the soccer field. A wonderful man who touched man lives. He had a wonderful turn out at his funeral in Illinois. Death can come at anytime and that is the reality. Enjoy each day that we have.

 With the Salvatorian Sisters in Oceanside California
 Ken the hunter who has shot every single kind of deer in North America at his house in Napa
                                                                  Alcatraz
St. Mary's College in Moraga

Saturday, January 25, 2014

1st half heritage trip and Nogales Mexico

The Novices went on a 3 week Heritage tour. We traveled from Milwaukee, to Colfax IA, Denver CO, Albuquerque NM, Tucson AZ, Nogales Mexico, Oceanside CA, Moraga CA, SF CA, NAPA, Orangevale CA, SLC UT, Cheyenne WY, Omaha NE, then home. Is was a trip to see the different Salvatorian Ministries in the US. It was a very good experience and a very eye opening experience. Every place we stayed was very hospitable. Everyone was incredibly friendly and generous. People like to help out. In Tucson we saw Jordan Ministries who put on retreats, talks, and seminars throughout pima county. They even to jail ministry visiting prisoners in Florence AZ. When then saw Southwest Medical Aid. They collect supplies that are going to be thrown away by hospitals and ships them to countries in need of them. Like Mexico, Honduras, El salvador and more. It is a well thought out organization where they only send it to credited places and they ask to see there medical equipment in use. It is a very well run organization who is doing it the right way. That is the problem with a lot of foreign countries when you send money or supplies you need to know who exactly is taking it and what is it exactly being used for. We also did the soup patrol one night in Tucson. We drove to the homeless and feed the soup and hot chocolate. I was shocked to see homeless children who were maybe 10 or 12 yrs old. It is sad. As soon as we pull up in the truck they all come out like zombies. I couldn't believe how many are homeless in there 20's. It is unbelievable. There was maybe a 100 people who should up at the downtown library. Some of them were crazy, some were drunk, some were really old. Something needs to change. How do you separate the crazy ones front the drunk ones, from the ones that just need a chance of hope and have given up on life, from the ones who are comfortable and want to be homeless. It is a sticky situation. I saw a variety of people in Tucson. Friends, family and more. I spoke at Most Holy Trinity church little about my life and how I got here. I had many good meals in Tucson. We then headed down to Nogales to the Jesuit project in Mexico. It really opened my eyes. 
The living conditions is awful. The Mexican government is so corrupt. The drug lords are in collaboration with the government. People who cross the border have to pay the drug lords just to cross because they are on there land. There were two guys that crossed without paying the drug lord and they got whipped with chains. The drug lords higher teenagers to stand on hills and watch for people who cross the border without paying the drug lords for crossing or asking without there permission. They then tell the drug lords. 100% of the people who cross have to use a coyote to get across who works for the drug lords. That is a guide they have to pay that might even beat them or steal there money. They will hold some people for ransom. But they can't stay in Mexico making $6 a day when milk costs $3 a gallon. It's crazy. Then we saw the mile long line filled with semi trucks taking goods to America. The long line of cheap inexpensive labor goods for us so we Americans can save money. It is a messed up system. We got to see where the Jesuits take in the people and feed them. All the people from the compenero had been caught and got deported. They are homeless in Nogales because they are not from there. They have no money and don't know anyone. There from southern Mexico, or Guatamala or even further south. So thank God for the Jesuits who feed them everyday and tell them there rights to be treated as human beings. They provide food, clothes, and a phone call so they can let there loved ones know what has happened. They area doing great work. It was a good experience . Especially to talk with the people. Most of them are going to keep trying. They have family in the US and there going to keep trying until they get to there family. They see it as there only way to survive.
The US spent 18 billion last year trying to protect our borders. What a waste of money. I was wondering what if we took down the fence and opened up our borders to everyone? Majority the people are good people. They want to work hard. But then you are also letting in all the criminals as well. Would it lead to more crime? Over crowded. So they only allow 50,000 Mexicans to become citizens a year. And about 3 million apply. Wow slim chances. It's like winning the lottery. The system has to change. Why can't we give everyone a work visa. Show that they have to be employed and want to work. Oh no America would that mean our goods wouldn't be cheap anymore because everyone would leave Mexico and work here to get better wages. But then I think about my little brother who is half Mexican half American and is lazy. His parents are lazy and feed off the system. Are the Mexican kids that are born here have become lazy. Have we Americanized them. They don't want to go into the fields and pick strawberries even though there parents do. The younger generation is an entitlement generation . They just expect everything. Maybe I am speaking too harshly. I have time to think about this on the road to Yuma.
The Mexican government is so corrupt it makes our government look like saints. This isn't very Christian like but how can we wipe out all the politicians and drug lords. Maybe Ron White the comedian said it best, " The US should by Mexico. That is where all the harder workers come from. They could fix up our country and there country. Then if we want to well sell it back to Spain." I think he went a little far in the quote but I do agree. Mexicans are number one growing population in America and we should accept it.
One more thing. Private prisons. What kind of crap is that? Prisons that make money off the government. It sounds like they have a quote. For example if AZ has 40,000 people in there prisons they get a cut from the government. If they have less they get a smaller cut. So the more they have the more money they make. So of course they want to catch people and leave them in jail. That is crazy. They say 85% of the illegals in jail just want to make money. They are not drug dealers or violent. Good people in jail for crossing the border. I know it is illegal but still there is much worse crimes if you ask me. Did getting a speeding ticket going 86 in a 70mph send me to jail. No but I could have killed someone at that speed. By the way that never happened just giving an example. They say 6,000 have died in the desert the last 4 years. Now that is a crime against humanity. Thank goodness for the No more Deaths program that puts water stations in the desert for these people to get water if they do make it. Yet there are some jerks out there that will shoot them or stab them and drain the water out of them. That is pretty low. 
 Myself, Octavio from Mexico, Patric from San Jose, and Marcel From Nigeria ready for our trip
 This is me speaking at the 9am mass at Most Holy Trinity Parish in Tucson
 This is the place where the Jesuits feed the deported homeless in Nogales Mexico
 This is the line of semi truck goods from Mexico entering the USA. The line is over a mile long
 There is a teenager who is paid by the drug cartels to stand on the hill and watch for people and for illegals crossing into the USA without paying or notifying the drug cartels.
We are filling tooth paste in small containers for the homeless that have been deported. Most have no place to go and no money. They have to figure out what to do. Whether try an attempt again or hitch hike back where ever they came from.
Marcel had a bad experience at the border. The border patrol detained him and lock him in a room with no explanation. They told him to sit and wait . Marcel got pissed. He felt like a caged animal. They held him for probably 15 minutes and then told him you are free to go with no explanation. Marcel kept asking "why are you detaining me?" No explanation was given just " you are free to go". I felt bad for Marcel. He got very upset over it. It was not right. He had the correct documents. Was it racist? Was it racial profiling? Was it because he is from Nigeria? I'm just sorry the toll it took on Marcel. It was embarrassing for him. When we were driving back and we stopped at the border patrol check point in Tubac I lied to them. He asked if we are all citizens and I said yes because I didn't want to put Marcel through any more and he just let us go as I expected. I was glad I was driving as opposed to anyone else. Because I'm sure every one else would have been honest with the border patrol and we would have had to give him all our documentation.
 Sorry for the long rant but social injustice really gets me going now days. It was a good experience in Tucson. I think we all learned a lot. And we have a lot more to learn.



Saturday, January 4, 2014

WolfCreek and Tucson

 With Jim Chan at Wolf Creek. Awesome skiing conditions. Snowed 7inches 2 days before I got there yet we were able to find powder every single day. We found the hidden gem area.
 This is on top of the ridge looking off to the back side of the mountain. 5 days in Wolf Creek was well needed. plenty of hiking, skiing, and snowboarding. It was nice to hit the hot tub at the end of the day
 Got to enjoy spending a few days before Christmas with my brother. Wearing Jerseys helps to find each other in the crowd. It was a blast. No injuries thank God.
 This is at randy's house with Austin and Reed. They are growing up really fast and they both remembered uncle Michael. They never get tired of being picked up and tossed around. They will ALWAYS come back for more.
This is looking west at wolf Creek, Mike and Carolyn graciously host me every year for this ski trip. I love the mountains and I love the snow.