Holy Week 2014

On Holy thursday I attended Congregation of the Great Spirit. Luckily I started feeling better by then. I was sick for about a week. I think I had a strong cold or the flu. It sure dragged me down and made me week. With the washing of the feet at church mass there was only about 30 people. There were 4 basins and pitchers. We took turns washing each others feet. It was very neat to see. Someone sou,d ways your feet then you would wash the next person and everyone was helping each other out. I had this cute little 2 year old indian girls who helped me pour water on her brothers feet and then I wiped his feet. It was touching experience.

Friday I headed down to Racine to help Leo with Geometry. He then taught me about iMovie. now I am addicted to it and love making trailers. It has been a fun project. Fr. Bruce and I then watched Mel Gibson's the Passion of Christ with 4 students then we went to a fish fry afterwards. It was a long day but a good day. I think Mel Gibson goes a bit over the top but he sure gets the message through on what Jesus went through.

Saturday was the night Vigil. Mass started with The elders drumming behind the altar. Then one of the elders got up and told the Great Creation story from the Lakota People. It seemed very similar to the creation story with Adam and Eve. In the middle of the mass we went outside where the bonfire is and lit the easter candle and prayed to the four directions. We then migrated back into the dark church with our candles and the women dressed in there Native American outfits did the snake dance down the aisle. It was very peaceful to watch. The snake dance and signing is about shedding our old skin and becoming new. We then renews our baptismal vows and then the native women blessed us by shaking cedar branches dipped in the baptismal water at us. It was a very nice mass and then at the end we had a big potluck in the basement.

Sunday the next morning at 6 am we met across the street from where I live to have a native American Piece Pipe ceremony. Al opened up the ceremony with drumming and chanting in the Lakota tongue then we did the prayer to the four directions. Then Al explained that the chanting he is doing is asking the Great Creator to listen to our prayers and that we are offering tobacco to the Great Creator and the smoke that comes out of the Pipe is our prayers rising to be listened too. He then passed the Piece pipe around the circle in which we all smoked. Then there was a closing of drumming and burning of cedar branches. One of the guys gave me cedar leaves and said if you have a cold boil this in water and drink it and you will be fine. So I did. It didn't taste to bad. I am not sure if it worked because I was already feeling better at that point but maybe it finished off my cold.  We then had a big feast that night with our house and we invited 3 individuals over to join us. It was realizing and then we finished the night off watching the Sopranos.
Easter we were blessed with 68 degree weather. That only lasted a day. It is 47 today and I hope warm weather is on its way.

 Foot washing of Holy Thursday at Congregation of the Great Spirit

 Fr. Bruce is holding Angel's new born baby girl who is one week old

This is preparing of the peace pipe for the ceremony on the lake front Easter morning

Addictions retreat

We had a three day retreat on addictions. It was mainly about Alcohol. It is amazing how drugs and alcohol can over power a person and make them completely and totally dependent. Addiction often happens when there is something missing and trying to fill a void in ones life. It makes the user feel better for a little bit to get that high but then they come down and then they have to get that high again and pretty soon they become totally dependent on it.  We watched the movie " hello my name is Bill W" and we watched " Love is not enough" and it is the story about Bill W's wife. Bill Wilson is the founder of AA. It is amazing what his wife put up with. The faith she had in him was incredible.  I thought she was more impressive than Bill.  She knew there was something inside him that was able to defeat this. There was a scene in the movie and he is holding on to the bottle of vodka and he says, "I don't want to drink this. I love you Lois, but I need this. I don't want to drink this but I love Alcohol. " He was absolutely powerless to it. Incredible. We also heard stories of drugs just destroying lives. We live in such an addictive society. Internet and social media are at the tips of our finger tips. There are a ton of internet addictions from porn, to surfing the internet and constantly clicking on things, to social media, to online gaming. Ones reality becomes the internet. There fantasy becomes there reality. How sad is that. Kids put so much time and effort into it. The bullying online is a real problem. Kids have committed suicide just by what others have written about them on the internet. There is no filter. People just write with out thinking. Dangerous.

It really gave me appreciation to the 12 step program. I like step two that I am powerless and I need to rely on a greater power than myself. The 12 step program is really a deep examination of ones conscious . Another quote that caught my attention was " don't say I am sorry. Say that I am wrong".

It made me have a real awareness in everything I do. Pay attention to your feelings and what is going on in your life. It is easy to get addicted to anything.

The weather is Finally warming up. I think spring is finally here.

I w as upset with myself the other day because i was at a stop light and There was a homeless man asking for money. I usually keep a box of granola bars in my car and hand them out. But I was out of granola bars. I thought I only had a 20 in my wallet so i didn't want to give him that. SO I ignored him outside my window. OF course what does Jesus say, "Who are my brothers and sisters?" so I felt guilty when I drove off. Then when I looked in my wallet I had two single dollar bills in there. Pope Francis says "Who am I to judge?"

Other than that I am currently trying to shake a cold.

On Saturday we are heading to Casa maria to volunteer for a bit and check out that ministry. It sure seems like the root of all problems in the world is poverty. The trafficking of humans for labor or sex generally happens to people who are willing to do anything to get money or bring money home for the family. Or they live in a poverish area and the family is willing to sell a child for money or are stolen away and no one notices because there in a poor area with no law or authority. I was reading a statistic that 2 million women and children are unaccounted for in the world. How does that even happen? People taking advantage of others. Exploitation of humans. There seems to be so many problems in the world it can be overwhelming . I guess it starts with education. Telling people have an awareness in the community. Hopefully media helps spread awareness. Then I think it is finding organizations and being in collaboration. But then where do yo go from there? 

Plenty to think about. How can you help your fellow humans in everything you do. I guess it starts with doing the small things in life. Kind, courtesy  and just being present. Just showing up in everything you do.

LA Religious Congress

Well our first day we went to universal studios. It was quit enjoyable. I really enjoyed the studio ride and the part where we entered the King Kong 3D experience. Fr. Reed screamed bloody murder when the T-Rex came and I thought it was one of the funniest things I have ever witnessed in my entire life.  You could see the fear in his eyes. I thought he was going to have a heart attack. I also really enjoyed the transformers ride. It was an enjoyable time. 

LA religious conference was a good experience. Over 40,000 Catholics in one convention center. That is kinda scary. I heard Ronald Rolhieser and he spoke about fear. He said how it can help us to do God's mission or hinder us from doing God's mission. I think the bottom line of the talk was Do not be afraid . We hear it all the time in the people. He said if you truly believe you should have no fear.  Infact it is almost silly to have fear. But we fear everything. We fear about being poor, fear of losing our job, fear of being lonely. I guess it is a lot about perspective. I think you need to be in a comfortable space and comfortable with who you are and where you are at and expect anything. 

It is like the chinese story of the man who received all this wood and built a fence and the neighbors said wow that is good. He said, "Who knows". Then a storm came and destroyed his fence and his horses ran away. Then the neighbor said, "Wow that is real bad news". Then the mans horses came back with more horses and cows. Then the neighbor said, "Wow what good luck". Then the man said, "who knows". Then his son was riding one of the horses and falls and breaks his leg. The neighbor says "Wow that is bad luck". Then the man said, "who knows". Well then his son didn't get drafted into the army because he has a broken leg. So this can go on and on. But I think you get the point.

I also saw Greg Boyle who wrote Tattoos of the heart. He is a very good speaker. He is a jesuit who works with the Gangs of LA. He started homeboys industries. Jobs not jails. He did a fantastic job of speaking. So captivating. Very inspirational. He does amazing work. He has started a clothing line, salsa, restaurants, education services, employment services, tattoo removal and more. He has gotten in the middle of gang fights. Incredible stories. I highly recommend reading Tattoos of the Heart. 

Then I met Patrick Atkinson who has started ITEMP. He has an incredible story, He also started a nonprofit organization to raise awareness and to fight anti-trafficking of humans. He works in Guatemala, USA, India, Malawi, and El Salvador. He started and orphanage in Guatemala. I really enjoyed my conversation with him. He said to me "I would love if you would come work for me in Guatemala at the orphanage. It is very tempting because that sounds like something right up my alley.  It is always something got think about.

The novices had to take turns running the vocations booth. SO basically we were to try and recruit interested people into the Salvatorians. I am normally very extroverted and feed off people. That is where i get my energy from. I also noticed I had should pain the whole time in LA. It would not go away. I think it might have been because we were told to were the habit while working the booth. I felt uncomfortable. Poeple look at you differently. I didn't like it. I had numerous people say, "Hello Father" and I had one lady kiss my hand. Maybe it is because I don't feel I deserve to wear it because I have not taken first vows. Maybe because it is a reality of my future and I am nervous about it. Maybe it is because I have to make a decision in the next few months on whether to enter or leave the Salvatorians and I don't feel ready to make a decision. All my other novices are 100% ready to take there journey to priesthood and I am sitting on the fence. I do think i am carrying a lot of stress on myself with making a decision. Maybe it is a red flag because I am not sure. I think the best thing I can do is try to be present to right now but pray about the future and try to picture where I will be.

Winter pictures

So I heard the Pope just say that priests can now get married. There is only two requirements. 1. you must be retired from your ministry. 2. You must be 80 years old or older.

 This is the cemetery in our backyard. I occasionally go for walks back there.

 I went cross country skiing one afternoon at a golf course

 This is Marcel taking a swing at the piñata fro Fr. Reed's birthday

 During our ICN sexuality retreat I set up a bonfire on the beach. People were amazed you can have a bonfire during the winter on a beach

We celebrated Fat Tuesday at our ICN retreat. King cake baby

I went with Patric to the Milwaukee Comic Con. We were the only ones dressed up but everyone appreciated it and took pictures of us. He went as batman and I went as Thor.

By the way Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are now worth money. I had quit a few of those growing up.

Sexuality Retreat

Before we went to LA we had a 4 day retreat on Sexuality. I thought the speaker did a really good job. Religious life is not a normal life. I think the thing I realized most is I need affection in my life. Then I have to ask How am I going to get that affection? I need deep intimate conversation. I need touch. I know i am a touchy feely guy. I need to find healthy ways. Is hugs enough? Is someone holding my hand enough? Is getting a massage enough? Is playing contact sports helpful? I have to spend time and answer questions like these. I thing I found interesting is there are 12 different ways for intimacy. I am sharing them below. 

12 Opportunities for Intimacy

1.     Genital intimacy (erotic or orgasmic closeness)

2.     Emotional intimacy (being tuned to each other’s wave length) *

3.     Intellectual intimacy (closeness in the world of ideas)

4.     Aesthetic intimacy (sharing experiences of beauty)

5.     Creative intimacy (sharing in acts of creating together)

6.     Recreational intimacy (relating in experiences of fun and play)

7.     Work intimacy (the closeness of sharing common task)

8.     Crisis intimacy (the closeness in coping with problems/pain)

9.     Conflict intimacy (facing and struggling with differences)

1. Commitment intimacy  (mutuality derived from common investment)

1. Spiritual intimacy (the we-ness in sharing ultimate concerns)

1.  Communication intimacy (the source of all types of true intimacy)

The bottom line is what is going to make me the most loving and most free I can be?  What are my deepest desires?

Burn Victim

I received a phone call at 4:30am. Some one's brother of a friend of mine was in an explosion with third degree burns over 90% of his body. The mother was crying and was hoping for a miracle out of me. I showed up the next day and we prayed and I hugged them. I felt helpless. I brought Fr. Reed. There was nothing I could do. The mother was so angry with God. She has already lost another child in a car accident at the age of 19 years old. It is ok to be mad at God. We went in to see the patient. He was covered up and swollen. i prayed as best I could.
Two days later we went back and the whole family was there. I felt so honored and blessed just to be with the family and listen. That was all I can do. We did an anointing of the sick with the family surrounding the patient in bed. I felt the presence of God in the room. It was amazing the amount of the love that was being poured out in the room. It was incredible. I felt bad for the family.
We are not in control. No matter how much I think I am in control of my life, we are not in control.
The doctor had no hope. They kept him on a vent and on pain med's and that is it. Praying and hoping for a miracle. They did a novena for nine days at 3pm everyday.
They got a hold of me and they said we are puling the mask off. SO I raced down tot he hospital. We prayed a novena and waited for respiratory therapy.
We left the room, they pulled off the mask. He instantly turned white. He had slow deep breaths. There was a lot of crying in the room. It was hard to watch. Then he took his final deep breath and then you knew he was gone. You knew he left this world. We held hands around him and I prayed. All I remember about praying was what a gift we was to the world and to everyone around him. I remember thanking God for all the lives he had touch and to trust in God to lead him where ever he is going on the next part of his journey. I am sure I said more but that is all I remember. I felt the doctors hand on my should and he looked at me very sincere and said "You did a great job. Thank you". This was an experience I will never forget. I felt sorry for the family but yet happy because I truly believe he is in a better place. No more suffering. I felt blessed and honored to have been there. God was at work.

2nd Half of Heritage Trip

We traveled to Oceanside where the Salvatorian Sisters runs safe house for Trafficked women. Some have been labor slaves and some have been sex slaves. It is incredible and heart wrenching to hear these stories. I never knew how prevalent it is here in the USA. Men will often seduce these young women by telling them they will get them a good job so they can help there family. Then they lure them in and hold them hostage and tell them if they leave they will kill there family. It is really sad the mind games they play on these women. Some are from foreign countries and don't even know the language. Some are from normal homes in the US and they decide to runaway from home and get caught by the wrong guys. It is sick and awful. These women have lived nightmares. The sisters have safe place for them. They work a lot with the psychological damage and emotional damage. They teach english and try to reincorporate them back into society. They are doing wonderful work down there.
We traveled to St. Mary's College where Fr. Sal is the campus minister there. It is run by the Lasallian Brothers and it really reminds me of St. Mary's in Winona. You can tell Sal loves working with College students. We then had a free day in San Francisco where Patric and I headed to Alcatraz. Very cool. I need to see escape from Alcatraz now. We then headed up to Napa where we met with the Drake's who hosted us. We saw Fr. AL and Fr. Bob who are the Chaplans at the hospital there. Then we headed to Orangevale where the Divine Savior parish is. Huge parish and we had a panel discussion for the parishioners after the last mass. From there we headed back across the US with our first stop in Lake Tahoe. Beautiful area. I would love to go back there and go skiing. We also stopped in SLC where I stayed with Noah and we skied up a mountain than back down early in the morning. It was beautiful. Then from there to Cheyenne in which we stayed wight he Lackey's then to Omaha and back. It was a great trip to learn about he different Salvatorian ministries. There is some amazing work being done.
It has been a few weeks and back into routine. The saddest news was one of my friends from college who I played soccer with died. His name is Jake Endemman. He was a great guy and down to earth. He had a laugh that could light up the room. He was simple and easy to be around and gave every ounce of energy on the soccer field. A wonderful man who touched man lives. He had a wonderful turn out at his funeral in Illinois. Death can come at anytime and that is the reality. Enjoy each day that we have.

 With the Salvatorian Sisters in Oceanside California

 Ken the hunter who has shot every single kind of deer in North America at his house in Napa

                                                                  Alcatraz

St. Mary's College in Moraga